Monkey Puns

Monkeys are funny creatures, and you just know that we have some cheeky monkey puns out here waiting for you!

What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
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