I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
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