My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!