You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Go to BabaMail
