Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.