Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
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