I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously.
All they do is cheese and wine.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
French, French Revolution
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
I asked my Italian grandfather if the rougher parts of Italy were called the spaghetto.
His look was pasty.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
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