Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
French, French Revolution
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
French people give me the crepes.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
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