What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
Nothing really mattress.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...
...a dining set would be chair-i-table
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
My chair is missing an arm and a leg.
That doesn't sit well with me.
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head.
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
I was going to replace the seats at my bar
But... I just can't look at another stool sample
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
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