I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
I said to my doctor, "I usually sit on the computer 12 hours a day...is that bad?"
He replied, "That can't be too comfortable. Try a chair!"
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
Nothing really mattress.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
All the chairs in my town were stolen
The people can’t stand it.
My chair is missing an arm and a leg.
That doesn't sit well with me.
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What did the first plate say to the second plate?
"Dinner's on me!"
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?
Patty O’Furniture
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.
I totally nailed it.
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
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