Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Cooking always puts my wife in a bad mood...
She beats the eggs and whips the cream.
My wife won a large ceramic pot
She definitely urned it.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it
Wouldn’t run.
Cooking is bad for my anxiety.
I had to throw away my pressure cooker.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
What's the difference between chemistry and cooking
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
What did the astronaut see in his frying pan?
An Unidentified Frying Object.
What do you call a glass dinosaur?
Pyrex.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me
I yelled what the Hellmann?!
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
My wife asked, “Honey, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
My favorite restaurant started serving a superhero-themed skillet breakfast.
Turns out it was just The Flash in a pan.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
Be careful what you say about those plates in the cabinet.
They're stacked.
My son asked me where the pan was.
I told him, naturally, it went on a wok.
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
I saw an Italian man cooking pasta with a flame thrower.
I cannoli imagine what he was thinking.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom.
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
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