What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
I'm going to need to exorcise a lot after all this Halloween candy.
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
Go to BabaMail
