Welcome to the spookiest puns we have... welcome to HALLOWEEN PUNS!

What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?
They always honor the changing of the Gourd.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"

I replied, "Exactly!"
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.