Welcome to the spookiest puns we have... welcome to HALLOWEEN PUNS!

What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"

A shepherds spy.
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"

I replied, "Exactly!"
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”