Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
Why can't a tattoo artist be faithful? Because he always has designs on his clients.
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
Who else is a famous barnyard painter?
Pablo PIGcaso
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said "I like to bill them later."
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
What was the artist's favorite swimming stroke? The brushstroke.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
The coffee shop owner was afraid. He wanted to know if the shop had ground to operate in the black.
Dark-colored huskies found in Colorado can also be termed as dusky huskies!
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
A bear's least favorite pastry at any party is the blue bear-y pie.
Q: What did the artist say to the dentist?-
A: Matisse hurt
When I broke my brother's favorite toy, he turned absolutely red in anger.
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
Why did the origami artist win her court case? She was great at doing the paperwork.
Blue jeans are immortal. They never die, they just fade away!
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I was sick, and my whole body turned colorful. The doctor took a look and said that I had a color infection, which is caused by the Crayola virus.s
Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
Why did you fall in love with the Paris art museum? It was just Louvre at first site.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
Why did the girl decide to become an art dealer? Because she wanted more Monet.
If Van Gogh were alive today, what might the title of his autobiography be called?
The STARRY of My Life
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
The painter loved to paint because he was drawn to art.
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
While building a house, the architect took his fingers and dipped them in a jar of blue ink. He wanted to get the blueprints!
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.