Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.