What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
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