Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
I like you, you croc my world.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
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