Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.