What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
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