Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
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