Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
I like you, you croc my world.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Some people like to play croc-quet.