The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
I like you, you croc my world.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
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