Well it took you awhile to get here! But we guess we can't blame you, these ARE Snail Puns after all...

What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.