Well it took you awhile to get here! But we guess we can't blame you, these ARE Snail Puns after all...

How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.