What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
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