If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call the FINE print!
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
Don’t ever trust a leper-con!
I'd catalog you with the cookbooks because you look delicious.
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
"You're poaching all my best yolks."
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
Rebel without a Claus.
"Eggs love you."
You sleigh me.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
“Oh, deer! Christmas is here!”
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
Believe in your elf.
"No eggs-cuses."
Easter and April Fools fall on the same day this year...
You could say it only happens once in a blue moon.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
Paddy like a rockstar.
“Feliz navi-dog!”
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
Who needs luck? I have charm.
"Happy Easter to all my peeps."
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife
Happy Mother’s Day!
I’m elf-taught.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
Your presents is requested.
Why did the Easter Bunny go to the doctor?
It was time for his annual eggzam.
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
"You might not carrot all, but you're irresistible."
I'm pine-ing for you.
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
You’re as sweet as Pi.
You’re my soul Santa.
What is Santa's favorite breakfast food? Snow-flakes.
She has high elf-esteem.
"I would hop to the end of the world for you."
Are you a card?
We're perfectly suited for each other
Sip, sip, horray!
It's ice to meet you.
Let’s make some pour decisions.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
"I have so many egg puns, it's not even bunny."
Zero lucks given on St. Patrick’s Day.
I wood never leaf you.
It’s worth a shot.
We like to paddy.
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