What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
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