Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
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