What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
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