What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
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