Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
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