A good Christian knows when to laugh at these funny Christian puns!

Christian Puns

Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!
What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Jesus can’t be topped.