Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Jesus can’t be topped.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns