Christian Puns

A good Christian knows when to laugh at these funny Christian puns!

What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Jesus can’t be topped.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
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