Snake PunsJoke Generator

Snakes! The're scary, they're vicious, and some of them can kill you! But here, they're just gonna make you laugh with some harmless sssssnake puns!

What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.

Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
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