There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.