If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
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