Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.