In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
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