In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Having a ball
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Get in the swim this summer.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
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