Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
Water you doing on [date]?
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
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