Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Dublin over in laughter.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Irish I had better jokes.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
You’re my lucky charm.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
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