Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
In Ireland, I call the shots.
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
You’re my lucky charm.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Do you be-leaf in magic?
You have me greening from ear to ear.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
Dublin over in laughter.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
Irish I had better jokes.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
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