My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight She's my aunt
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Stuck on what to get your Mum for Mother's Day? Get her a fridge and watch her face light up as she opens it.
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
Ignore your mother's bad joke, son... It's a faux pa.
How can you tell if a tree is older than your mother? It'll be covered in grandmoss.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out identity theft is a crime
One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer: I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent. She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!! She's a grammy winner!
When Dumbo’s mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it. It was the elephant in the womb.
Son, your mother died. It happened when she choked on her dinner from laughing. You could say I have a killer sense of humor.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day.... I hope they meat her expectations
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes... Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth." Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death? Vigil aunties.
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India? Mumbai
Dad: “Son, your mother and I are thinking about moving to a square island.” Son: “Wow really? Can I come too?”
Dad: “Four shore!”
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously. They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence ...and I got to keep mine.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother? Magma
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year? I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son. Beehive!
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year? Momorial Day
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner? Taco ma
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.” I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
If your mom slaps you with high frequency - It Hertz
My mother asked me if my dog was good I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”