Oh, you're here! We were worried some fowl play has befallen you. We couldn't possibly gobble these hilarious Turkey Puns without you.

Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.

*Baste on a True Story...*
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot