What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!