What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Come witch me to the party.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.