What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
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