Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!