I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
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