Crab Puns

Don't be crabby, be laughing instead at our Crab Puns!

How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones

My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy