Don't be crabby, be laughing instead at our Crab Puns!

What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones

My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster