Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
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