One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
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