What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
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