On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
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