What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
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