What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Go to BabaMail
