My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.