I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
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