Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Car puns are really tiring
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.