Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Car puns are really tiring
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire