Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Bro, are you a submarine? Because you're so gnar.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What is a car’s favourite element?
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board Whoops, wrong sub.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot. I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit? He couldn’t get any up-boats
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Why is their ship called 3.14? Because they are π-rates.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks? A foot.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What do French cars wear as hats?
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down? It has to be toad away.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle, it doesn't Go Straight.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Which bus went from Spain to America? Columbus
There was this bald guy at the bus He seemed really lightheaded
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What color are military submarines? Deep navy
What do you call a bus full of smart people? A Scholarship
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones? They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was too tired..
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over... did he just bust a move?
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal. I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle? A drive bike shooting
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was 2-tired.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank? It caused a title wave!
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold It’s called Elon’s Musk
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky This much is plane to sea
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Which car do sheep drive?
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage. But I believe this sub's doing even better!
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced... I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine? A subwoofer.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
I tried to make a wooden submarine. It didn't go down so well.