I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
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