Welcome to Bible Puns, God bless.

How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blond hair.
We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.
After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns.
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
At what time of day did God create Adam?
Just before Eve.
Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Adam, because he was first in the human race.
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car?
A convertible.
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers
What animal could Noah not trust?
Cheetah
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
He thought he saw a job.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.