Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
He thought he saw a job.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Which Bible character had no parents?
Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
Ruthless.
What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
Flood lights.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man?
Because he would be several thousand years old.
What animal could Noah not trust?
Cheetah
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns.
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Adam, because he was first in the human race.
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blond hair.
We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.
After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
At what time of day did God create Adam?
Just before Eve.
Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple.
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car?
A convertible.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
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