What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
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