What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!