What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
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