What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
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