What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
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