Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
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