Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
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