What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!