What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
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