Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted