What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.