What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
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