How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
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