What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
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