What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
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