What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!