The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
Go to BabaMail
