All aboard the best Train Puns this side of the wild internet!

The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.



A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.

Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.