Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
I tripped over a floor tile in the bathroom today. Got out alright, but it's safe to say...
I got floored.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
Must love it unconditionally.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
I tried to turn on a tap. It was a bit stiff though...
So I had to faucet.
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
I wanted to redo the flooring in my bathroom, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
Why do volcanoes need lotion?
So they dont get ashy.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,
so they installed a padlock.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today.
My husband said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
What did one soap molecule say to the other soap molecule in prison?
"Get out. This is micelle"
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
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