They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
To all ya'll without tap water,
Get well soon.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Why do volcanoes need lotion?
So they dont get ashy.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.
Got home and realized that I can't use it...
My hands are solid, and opaque.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
Why can’t a tile walk very well?
He has square feet.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
Moisturiser is good for your skin...
Let that sink in.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
Someone stole my fragrance-free lotion...
It was a scentless act of cruelty.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today.
My husband said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
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