Bathroom Puns

Come bathe in the glory of these bathroom puns

Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
What do you call pig shampoo?
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I think it was Scampoo.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Only a**holes use bidets.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
I got this new chapstick today...
It's the balm!
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
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