I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
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