My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
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