What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious? Suspeg.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead. Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
What do you do if your nose goes on strike? Picket.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?” "Awful.”
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph? Lambogreeny.
A nose visited its home town. It was overcome with nostril-gia.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night but I’ve seen stranger things.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew? "IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class I think i had a sin(x) infection.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I just was born with mine.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office. The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose... but you can't pick your friend's nose.
Where are noses made? At the olfactory.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose... ...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
Why is the nose in the middle of the face? Because it's the scenter.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee. She's quite sankamonious.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair? He uses conditioner Gordon.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday She wasn’t blown away.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut? Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is a hairball
My executive assistant has long hair. I call him my mane man.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret? Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today. Bald words for someone without it.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied. It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone. It's my secret 'stache.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.” Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”