Face Puns

The face is a very punny thing... Welcome to our Face Puns!

My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
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