Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
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