Prison Puns

In prison, people need all the sense of humor they can get! So here are some hilarious prison and prisoner puns for your amusement!

How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
What's a prisoners favorite building materials? Steal n cement.
What's an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
Why can't inmates read a clock? Because it's hard time.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What's an inmates favorite fishing equipment? Jail bait.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? A cellfie.
Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in jail? Silly Con Valley.
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
A prisoner was released from jail, he shouted "Yay I'm free I'm free!" A little boy yelled "So what I'm 4 I'm 4!"
What distinction does OJ hold in jail? He's the first inmate with a retired number.
What do you call a famous inmate? A cellebrity.
How do people stop being crooks? They straighen themselves out!
What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans.
What's an inmates favorite place to hangout? At the bars.
Why was the parrot in prison? Because it was a jail-bird.
Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.
Why is Facebook like jail? You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you really don't know.
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
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