What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
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