What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.