Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
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