The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
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