Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.