What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
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