Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
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