What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
All stereos are so typical.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
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