I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
All stereos are so typical.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
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