Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
All stereos are so typical.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.