My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
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