What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
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