What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.