Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
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