Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
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