What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.