Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
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