We’re mint to be.
Don’t moss around.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
It’s party thyme.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
I was offered a job as a gardener, but I didn’t take it because the celery was too low.
Trowel and error.
I’m rooting for you!
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
All clover the world.
What do you call it when worms eat all of the plants and take over the world?
Global Worming.
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
That’s a bit mulch.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
Long thyme no see.
Your good weed for the day.
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
Herb your enthusiasm.
Let me plant one on ya!
One trick peony.
I’ll never leaf you.
I beg your garden?
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
What did the pirate call his vegetable patch?
His garrrrgh-den.
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
Seed between the lines.
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
What’s a gardener’s favorite Beatles song? Lettuce Be.
What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A Snapdragon.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
I hired a landscape gardener today.
He couldn’t help me — my garden is a portrait.
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
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