Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
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