Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
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