Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
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