What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
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