What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
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