What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
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