How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.