What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
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