What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
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