How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Go to BabaMail
