What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
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