What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
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