Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!