What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
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