What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
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