What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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