Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
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