What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
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