Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
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