What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.