What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
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