What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
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