What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
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