Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
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