What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
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