Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
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