What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!