What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
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