What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
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