What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
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