Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
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