What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
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