Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
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