What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
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