What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
I goat this.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
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