What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
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