What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
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